Joanna Goddard's husband Alex has just written an article for the New York Times, Friends of a Certain Age, that I really relate to: making friends as an adult. This article really hits a nerve.
Moving to Atlanta and turing 30 made us realize we need friends, local friends. That's why is was wonderful to have Michael and Halef over at my "massive" birthday party. They made us feel at home.
The article says that adults have a hard time making new friends because marriage, work, family, kids, narrows people into a tighter network, very often closed off to new comers. Aside from this, Alex says that "Self-discovery gives way to self-knowledge, so you become pickier about whom you surround yourself with" and easily set someone aside for very selective reasons.
According to the article, we must return to our 20's where we would met anyone just because! And we have, at least we've been making the effort to do that. I really feel the need to have people over for dinner. Sitting around a table with food is always a perfect way to makes friends.
I can totally relate! It's so hard to make friends as an adult I find, because of time restraints and commonalities! Thanks for posting the article! Good read!
ReplyDeleteFor us here in Atlanta it's our biggest challenge!
DeleteTell me about it! =)
ReplyDeleteNão sabia que era o marido da Joanna, que engraçado. Já tinha visto o texto pela swissmiss.
ReplyDeleteO problema nem é fazer amigos, isso se és sociável, é fácil! O pior é mantê-los e construir aquela ligação especial. Aqui em Londres já conheço muita gente, alguns até gosto mesmo e considero amigos, mas no outro dia adoeci e pus-me a pensar se a coisa fosse mais grave a quem é que eu ligava?
Demora tempo e é preciso disponibilidade. Por isso é que eu acho que muitas vezes estrangeiros conhecem estrangeiros, porque os "locais" já têm as suas redes formadas e já estão demasiado ocupados a dar conta da sua vida para terem disponibilidade para "novas amizades".
Enfim, mas tenho a certeza que em breve vão estar cheios de amigos! Se são dos que duram o tempo o dirá!
Beijinhos e boa sorte!
tem sido mesmo isso! temos ido a eventos de couchsurfing, a meetups e eu tenho ido a um encontro semanal de crafts. Tem sido interessante. Aos poucos conseguimos!
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